Trials are like Car Salesman

Last week we had an enormous car repair bill that came up unexpectedly and for a moment my husband and I considered just trading the car in for something a little newer. When we met up with one of the salesman at the dealership he showed us this amazing van. It had all the bells and whistles in it, and of course we told the sales guy that there was no way we could afford something that nice. He proceeded to ask us what our price range was and we told him exactly what we could afford and he looked at us and said "oh yeah we can definitely work something out" and my husband and I thought there is no way!! But he told us a few times that it was "doable." So of course we took the car for a test drive and fell madly in love and we were ready to sign on the dotted line. After he got back from discussing our offer he had presented an absurd counter offer that was double what he had told him we could do. Seriously I knew it was too good to be true but he told us it wasn't. Anyway so he kept trying to push us into this car that we could clearly not afford. He tried every which way to break us and there was a moment we thought, well maybe. But at the end of the day my husband and I stood firm and merely said thanks but no thanks!

That night I could not go to sleep. We were unsure if we should spend the money to fix the car or to try and go back and search for a deal on another car. As I lay pondering this situation the thought came to me......that sales guy reminded me of the trials I have faced in my life....that we have all faced. As soon as you step into a car lot those sales guys are on you like a hawk....sometimes our trials seem to attack us all at once! And then once they get a hold of you, they are testing you to see how long it will take to make you crack, to give in, to believe there is no other option, no other way out.

The trials we face are there to test us, to make or break us, to affirm to us and the world what we are made of.....can we hold on, can we make the right choices, can we overcome, can we pick ourselves up and stand our ground no matter how hard! And in the end I hope the answer is yes!

Now I mean no hard feelings towards car salesmen, they are just doing their job and make a living, nothing wrong with that. I am merely trying to establish this point......... don't let your trials break you, don't let them back you up into a corner, to make you believe there is no way out. Stand your ground and pick yourself up and overcome. Let me tell you, spending that money we did not have was not an easy thing, we are still figuring out a way to pay for it, and yes I did cry!! But the one thing I refuse to do is let it break me.....or play the "woest me card" because believe me I could play that card a thousand times over, and I have. But I have decided after Alex's death that happiness can come despite our trials. I never would have believed that I could find joy again in life after literally watching my little boy take his last breath. And there are days that I am not happy and that life is down right hard. And then there are days that I look at my husband and my twins and I think I am the luckiest woman around. Happiness is something that many of us believe just "happens" and we all know that is not true. Happiness to me is something we "earn" in a way. We have to sift through life, through our trials, through our triumphs through our selves, through our faith, in order to understand how to recognize pure happiness. Don't let the bad things in life define you, to rob you of enjoying the many wonderful blessings that come with life. Stand firm and don't let that "salesman" break you or convince you to give in.

I will always miss and ache for Alex. That pain is part of me, but I am also able to surround that pain with the joy and love I have for my twins, my husband, my immediate family, my close friends, Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.